Day One -Not What I Expected...

Let's start off with some disclaimers:

• This is not going to be the usual McNeill family travel blog.  This is it.  I would imagine this will be even more real than those.
• If you're easily offended, stop reading now because I don't give a shit nor do I have the time to worry about your feelings.  If I end up talking about political crap, the mess that we were left. to deal with at work and anything connected to humanity, I, like every other asshole on the internet has an opinion and this is MY platform.
• I curse.  A lot.  Deal with it or stop reading.
• This might be choppy or not make sense because I start and stop writing. multiple times.  If that doesn't work for you, stop reading now. Also, there might be random periods. If that bothers you, stop reading too.
• As for political correctness - don't look for it here.  Go find another site.
• The Chinese or China Virus is a perfectly logical name for this. thing.  Ever hear of the Spanish Flu, Mediterranean Fever, Lyme's Disease?  That's where each one originated from.  If you think socialism is a good idea, guess what, it always leads to the more extreme and dictatorial form, communism.  And because of that, it is acceptable to eat. bats and other animals that we wouldn't here because that is all there is.  Keep up with the bullshit and we'll have the Brooklyn Virus. and that would be a totally acceptable name except top the whiny hipsters in. Brooklyn, not regular Brooklynites.  One more thing, the "Chinese" food you get in restaurants is not Chinese food at all.  You think they're eating General Tso's?  I worked in a place for years and the staff always ate something that we might not find too tasty - usually with a vast amount of rice. Except for the soft shell crabs - those were friggin' amazing.

Day 1:  Friday, March 20, 2020

Today started not too bad.  I was up first with the boys as is usual.  Jess was still sleeping and so was Isla.  Jess sleeps late.  Not like lazy late but she's up cleaning the kitchen doing the laundry and all that stuff.

I had a few things to do for work, so I was hoping that she would be up and take over and then I would be able to get that stuff off my plate.  You know, "Remote Learning" the new craze that's going to keep everyone on grade level and was completely unplanned for.  More on this later or in another post.

So yeah, the day started off as usual, they were watching some tv and all was good.  Then Jess asked me to come get Isla.  Usually they come down together.  She said she wasn't feeling great and could I come get her.  Sure.  Things were still going well - someone was getting lots of extra attention.

Ok, so, Jess' stomach hurts.  It happens from time to time,  We'll survive and she'll be up in a bit.  What's next?

Brekki.  Like how I sneak in things from our previous travel?

Five cheesy eggs for Isla, Malcolm and Duncs.  My one goal for today was to make my corned beef hash.  Now that I am old, the best part of St. Patrick's Day is a few days after when I can make my corned beef hash.  Ok, that's not happening.  At some point, I downed a green drink that was in there  - all one shot.  Chugged.  I figured I should get something in there.  

They devoured the eggs.  All five and fast.  I was going to make six but didn't.  Should have - maybe next time.  It's really not easy trying to cook when they all need attention.  All of them.  Every second when you are trying to get shit together.  The baby I understand but the boys should be able to watch TV or play without being completely ridiculous.  

Breakfast went well and everyone was satisfied.  Neil and I didn't eat.  He didn't want to andI had no time.  I decided that I would try to clean up as much as possible, because I like to procrastinate with shit like that.  I have enlisted Neil as. my helper and told him that he's got to help when I am doing things - watch Isla, keep her from climbing on every frigging chair that isn't on the other side of the baby gate and threatening to crash down the step....things like that.  So we are getting into a groove and gettin' shit done, Duncan starts walking over and waddling.  Fuck.

"Duncan why are you walking like that?"  I don't know why I asked because I already knew why.

"Nothing."

"No not nothing Duncan.  Did you pee?  Did you pee on the couch."

"No nothing." 

I run over to him and grab the front of his shorts - SOAKED.  I go over to the couch - SOAKED.  It's even on the floor.

I've got the baby at the table. climbing on everything.  Malcolm sulking on the coach because I  asked him why he didn't say anything when his brother was clearly pissing on the couch and floor next to him and I don't even know what Neil was doing, he may have defected or was downstairs at this point.

I strip Duncan and get him cleaned up.  Someone is always in a state of undress in this house.  

I get Neil back up and tell him to start setting up their school stuff, workbooks and all that crap.  School is in session!

To their credit, everyone got to their table spots and started to do some work, except Isla.  Isla ate crayons.

Neil was working hard.  In typical Neil fashion, he wanted to get it done, he didn't want to be disturbed (which the other three did do - well mostly Malcolm) and he was pretty independent with the work that he needed to do - he parlayed that into getting on the computer for some Prodigy.

Duncan was hard at work.  Dealing with the baby eating crayons, I left him on his own for a bit but then started to do some math with him using crayons as manipulatives.

Where are the pictures of Malcolm working you ask?  I'll show you that when you show me pictures of a fucking unicorn.

He avoids this work like the plague.  I don't blame him to some degree because he has been out of school so long with being sing and then his tonsillectomy and adenoidectomhy.  I finally got him to do the math and color by math sheet that was there but he wouldn't sit, kept getting up and finding other shit to do.

So, when your teachers tell you things about your kids (not that we have been told something we  didn't already know here - especially about Mr. Let Me Get This Shit Done McNeill) you best believe it because they aren't making shit up for fun or because they don't like your kid (I mean they might not if your kid is a jerk, like say, you) or because they want more work.  They're trying to figure it out and need your help and need you to be. consistent with what they are. trying to. support your kid with.  If you can't do that, then you're the fucking problem and not them.

This lasted for a while.  They were pretty focused and tried to get things done.  I have to say that I was proud of them - except for Malcolm -  though he did. get one sheet done and apparently thatg is a small miracle, so add him to the list too.

It was now time for lunch.  Isla was insanely clingy - I think because Jess ventured down stairs and then went back up and that means torture for everyone as she screams and cries at the bottom of the stairs.

Jess texted and said, hold her while you do everything.

Yeah, ok.

I grabbed the carrier from the car which resulted in more screaming and crying.  Neil and I tag teamed getting her into it and I think we did a good job.  Just to be sure we text Aunt Ali who said we did a bang up job.  I thought we had but I just couldn't see - so we sent her these.

You would think that since my wife owns a baby-wrap company, I'd know what I'm doing. Actually, she's out fourth kid - you'd think I'd know what the fuck I am doing.  Regardless this worked and allowed me to make many varieties of peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and butter, just nutella,  Malcolm didn't want anything, or he maybe had one and then after Neil came up and got one with nutella, he wanted one with nutella.  Unfortunately, he had to wait.

I think I got Isla up to Jess to nurse and nap - then I got Duncan in for a nap.  Then, I came back down.  This is when Malcolm asked for the nutella.  Unfortunately for him I was working on the the corned beef hash and had to tell Malcolm that he had to wait.  My supplies were limited and I didn't want to risk burning anything thing.  Truth be told, I was starving and hadn't eaten anything and was thinking, you gotta wait son while I cook for the HNIC.  For my friends who are black folk, that's "The Head Neil in Charge,"  we need to differentiate around here because there is another N who thinks he's in charge!

Corned beef hash progression:  This year we had a small, fatty piece of meat so there wasn't a lot of extra.  Normally I can freeze some in bags and then use them over the next month or two.

Shortly thereafter, I thought I was getting a little ill because my eggs might have been runny.  I screwed them up and was quite disappointed.  I don't always bug out about stuff like this - I'm sure Jess would disagree.  I felt flushed and checked my temp and it was 99.3 and was fluctuating - which may just be because I checked it like 10 times.  Normally, I run in the 97s.  The boys were watching some tv so I sat and just chilled and it eventually passed - though I am sure someone would have helped, it's not a good feeling thinking that we could both be knocked out.  Then what?  Fucking Coronabullshit.  

Isla was up from nap first and the boys were good about trying to keep her occupied so they decided that they wanted to play the "game" where they launch these rockets across the living room, make marks on the fucking walls and attempt to catch them.

There was no. catching and Neil. was taking target practice - you can see it if you look closely - pretty good shot.  After a few minutes of this, I got them ready and we went. out on a scooter, bike ride walk.  But first, the family attempt at getting Isla in the carrier which at this point wasn't working as well as the first time.  She was leaning all the way back - so I had to go up and check in with the expert who said she was good - so, off went!

Which way Isla?

We made it around the neighborhood which was good.  We always go for walks so being able to keep this in our repertoire is a good thing.  We saw. a bunch of people out - most obeying the rules - others, not so much.  Which is frustrating - if this is going to get. under control then you need to do your bit.  Period.

We got home and I made burgers for dinner.  The boys played some games and Isla crawled around in the bar/lounge/man cave...haven't decided what we are going to call it yet.  She enjoyed the fire from the grill.  

I'm trying to remember the rest of the evening and I do not seem to remember too much, so that's either a good thing or, I pushed it so far in the back of my memory that....

So, there was crying over what to eat.  Our neighbor Amy brought over some extra mashed sweet potatoes which everyone was forced to eat.  Then she brought over cookies.  Which, if you didn't eat the sweet pot you don't get a cookie.  Isla loved them.  Duncan and Neil only ate them with the threat of no cookies.  Malcolm refused.

I wasn't having it.  This is war time.

At some point during the sunset, the front of our house faces west, (I've noticed this before), the. shadow of the light outside our front door looks like a dick.  I told you, no PC on this.   That's a big dick, not a penis.

I finally got Malcolm to attempt to start eating the potatoes - the face was much better before he realized that I was taking his picture.  He never ate them and subsequently, never got a cookie.

It was bed time - Isla was up getting nursed and then I went in to put Duncan down.  Neil was reading to my parents like he does every night via facetime.  Since puking on his bed, Neil has been. sleeping on the floor with Malcolm who has been in Neil's room since his tonsillectomy.  That's because Duncan hasn't been sleeping well since we moved in to this place.  He's up and down, Kicking the wall, reading, looking at things - anything but sleeping.  

Once I got him in, Neil, Malcolm and I watched the new episode of Star Wars The Clone Wars.

Once they were in bed, I had to go in to Duncas at least two. times.  The second time when I went in and he was more snuggly, I felt his shorts and nighttime diaper were lower than they needed to be.  I pulled on them to get them up and my hand flew off and. I punched myself right in the face.  Right in the fucking face. As if this day couldn't get more stressful.  

When he was calm, I left and headed down to change the laundry.  Someone explain why there are two hand holes to open the dryer door?  I sitting there pulling on the wrong side and had to stop. because I was worries that I would disconnect it from the gas.  I had to text the general to find out what my problem was - but figured it out before she responded.

While I thought about blogging, I said fuck it and watched something on netflix - The English Game.  A period piece about football and the Scot who changed the game.  Watched two episodes and it is ok so far.  It is made by the Downton Abbey people - not as sappy as that but it's not bad.  I decided that since it was 11:30 and didn't know what tomorrow was going to bring, I would hit the sack.  Not even a beer.

Right now, it is 12:49 pm on Saturday, March 21st.  I've not had a beer nor a shower since Thursday.  I supposed it could be worse.  Let's hope not.